Spending New Year's Eve alone by Myself

 

Hello 2021

Congratulations to every single one of you who got thru a lot yet managed to survive in the past one year. You nailed it. I'm so proud of you *sending a big virtual hug

2020 is tough, huh? 

Anyways what do you guys do on 1^st January 2021? I just finished watching ‘Start Up’ (drama series on Netflix) hehe. The drama was so good that you should give it a watch :)

Talking about new year it reminds me of my experience on New Year’s Eve two years ago. It’s an embarrassing yet funny haha. I went to the movie by myself on 31^st Dec 2018. I was about to go with my college friend back then but turned out that she couldn’t come over as she’d something else to do. I didn’t want to go watching a movie alone –cause people would think it’s weird especially when I do it on New Year’s Eve while everyone is coming with their friends, family, relatives, etc.- I wanted to stay at home instead but I already told my mom that I’d like to hang out with my friend that day and I didn’t want to sound pathetic by telling her my friend had canceled our plan. Anyways it was my first New Year’s Eve in Jakarta –I came here on September 2018- so I didn’t make many friends yet, I didn’t want to make my mom worried about my friendship life T_T.

New year is not a big deal for me. It’s just that most of my friends celebrate it by hanging out, watching movies together or having barbeque with their family while staring at the fireworks up in the dark-yet-beautiful sky. Doing those things in celebrating new year make makes me feel normal LOL. So I decided to go by myself.

I remember the movie I watched was “Aqua Man”, it started 2 hours before 12AM. I went there earlier so that I can get some dinner. I had recheese factory for dinner that night, while eating my food I knew some guys and girls looking at me wondering what I was doing there alone by myself, seemed like they felt bad for me because I didn’t have any friends or relatives to hang out with. They’re talking about me behind my back. God I was so embarrassed and suddenly got angry at my friend since she couldn’t come. I got out of that place as soon as I finished my food. I still had some time before the movie started so I was stopping by print shop near to the restaurant to print some pictures -taken in 2018- to decorate my bedroom. The printing employee approached me asking if I needed any help, I told her that I wanted to print some photos and she asked me to wait. The printing was done in 15 minutes, I paid for it and was about to leave but she suddenly asked me if I was there alone and where my boyfriend was. I was so tired of the look she threw at me that I said I was going there with my friend but she hadn’t arrived yet. I’ve never thought I would look so pathetic spending New Year’s Eve without any companion that people who saw me thought I’ve got no friends.

I was in a hurry since the movie started in 10 minutes so I left right away after I’d answered her question. My seat was in the second front row, the cinema was running out of the tickets and they had only the tickets for the first and second row left. Still, I was lucky enough to get the ticket. But I can’t lie that sitting from the first five front rows in cinema is so much uncomfortable, the screen looked so close and big that you had to crane your neck for at least two hours to be able to see the scene clearly. It gave my neck, my back and my eyes pain. The movie ended and I just wanted to go home to get some sleep. It was pouring outside so I stayed a little longer as I watched New Year’s Eve fireworks in Jakarta.

Now that I’m looking back I think it was a funny story. I’m getting used to go anywhere myself and spend my most of the time alone since then. I become more independent than I was before. I do still get in touch with my friends of course, but hanging out with friends is never become a thing anymore. You don’t need to argue what food you’d like to pick, what place you’d like to go, what movie you’d like to watch etc. It was nice. It still is.

And, oh, I forgot to say this "Happy new year all. May all of you have a successful year ahead. Let's be happy"🎆🎇

Happy Eid al-Adha

Eid Mubarak, everyone! May Allah bless you joy, happiness, peace and prosperity. I wish you have a very happy Eid with your family. I should have posted this yesterday but I was way too busy lazy.

I'm so grateful that I still have a chance to celebrate Eid al-Adha this year in such a great condition. Alhamdulillah. As we know that Eid al-Adha is an Islamic festival to commemorate the willingness of Ibrahim (also known as Abraham) to follow Allah's command to sacrifice his son. So, basically Muslims (people who follow Islam) will sacrifice an animal, usually a sheep or a goat (if they can afford/have one) on this day. The meat of the sacrificed animals then will be distributed to family, friends, and those who are in need. 

Talking about this reminds me of one of my students (fyi, I've been teaching English to 4-to-8-years-old kid). It was two weeks ago when we were talking about our favorite food as a topic of our lesson that day, I asked this kid what food she likes the most and she said that she likes to eat anything except food that has meat in it. She's the only one who doesn't like to eat meat when most of her friends are fond of fried chicken and meatball. I was wondering and asking why. 
I was completely mesmerized after hearing her answer, she told me that every time she eats meat she feels bad of the animals because they died. I'm 20 and never  think about that, even once in the past 20 years, do I sound so mean here? I like to eat meat, especially when it comes to fried chicken, rendang, sate, etc. and I never feel bad of those dead animals 😭 probably because I see it as a food, I mean it was already cooked, doesn't look like dead animal anymore. 

"English is not an art to be mastered"

I am in a long holiday from university right now and recently spending my almost-12-hours in watching tons of videos in English, watching English movies, listening to podcast in order to improve my listening skill. I'm glad that I can still do these things while laying down on my bed (read: rebahan T_T). I don't feel like I was spending time on studying tho because it's simply just like I'm watching my favorite TV series. Hell yes, learning language is supposed to be fun, right?. So, last week when I was scrolling YouTube trying to find some videos to watch I stumbled on this TED Talks video.

"English nowadays is not really being taught like it’s a tool to play with, it’s still 

being taught like it’s an art to be mastered (to master)"

I did nod a lot when I watched it as I realize that me myself consider English as an art to be mastered and not as a tool to communicate. Spending years on Junior and Senior high school has shaped my attitude toward English like it is today. I had been taught in school that my English is good when I am able to produce sentences gramatically correct and when I'm not capable to do that then my English is not good enough. That's why when it comes to speaking, I just focus on how to express myself perfectly instead of focusing on how to achieve the result. I was thinking on what tenses I should use, how to pronounce the words correctly, get confused if I should use active or passive voice and bla bla bla. I'm so afraid that people will notice my mistakes, I'm afraid of getting judged by them when it is totally okay to make mistakes as they are a part of learning languages. I even tried to talk fast to sound more like a native speaker but ended up the people I was talking to didn’t get the point of what I was saying lol

The second thing I couldn't agree more mentioned on that video is that I tend to listen to people so that I could respond them as they expected me to respond, not because I want to understand them. So here’s the thing, most of us consider listening as the way to get us to be able in giving the best response instead of understanding the content. I know that we do this as we want to be a good listener of theirs, if they’re telling us a sad story we will think how to show our empathy so that they feel we care about them, that we do know how it feels by saying good words to encourage them and otherwise.
When they’re talking about deep thoughts, I was thinking hard to choose my words to reply so I would sound like intellectual one haha. I did it rarely, yeah because I have a few friends to have such a deep conversation. I wish I had more tho. The point is right now I find it important to listen in order to understand people. They don’t need any response sometimes, they just need to be listened. I’d rather to have someone listening to me attentively and give no response than have one who would say words to make me feel good but in fact they don’t really pay attention of what I’m saying.

Well, of course this depends on your purpose in learning English, it will be so much different if your purpose is to pursue your dreams to get a scholarship from university or to get a perfect score on TOEFL/IELTS. Being able to write in perfect (gramatically correct) English is needed.

Hello again?

OMG OMG I was about to abandon this blog since I was so occupied making money haha lol no. I just have plenty of things to do recently and have no idea what to write -_-. 

Now I'm extremely happy that I am back. It has been nine months since my last post, which was on September 2019 and this time we're already in the middle of 2020 hoho time does fly fast, so let me say a late-happy-new-year to you all. I wish the rest of 2020 will bring you more happiness and joy, we've been going through a lot for the first seven months in this year, huh? massive floods in some districts, coronavirus desease a.k.a COVID-19 :(. I do miss the old days where I can hanging out with my friends or my loved ones, go to the movies, have dinner or lunch outside, do things I used to take them for granted without being worried of getting infected by this virus.

Well, I didn't use to do that kind of thing a lot, instead I'd rather to spend my free time watching movies, reading novels, scrolling down timeline, or just lying down in my bed all day long haha, but still this pandemic drives us crazy, some people even lost their jobs, some people get their salary decreased almost 50% than before the pandemic exist, and some even can't go to school or college including me. I'm not saying that I'm longing for having classes after going to work or that I'm longing for my classmates. Nah. Not at all.

I just hate this kind of online-teaching-and-learning thing when I still need to pay full of the tuition fee but I feel like I got nothing in this semester because we (the scholars) were only given the learning materials, we have to learn them by ourselves, which we always ended up grumbling since we don't understand about those whole thing and it's such a boring activity to read power point that has loads of slides, like "I pay for them just to get this thing I could easily find on the internet?'.

OK I'm done, this post is not supposed to be like this. Bye for now everyone, I'll try to keep writing from now on because actually I'm just too lazy to write hiks *tearsrolldownmyface. Wish me luck this time hehe :)

You weren't falling in love

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you" you said that night. I wasn't surprised. well, you're not the first boy saying that to me. NO. I'm not saying that I'm so pretty or beautiful or whatever you call it that every single boy should have fallen in me in the very first time we talked. I was just wondering why boys are easy telling this kind of love expression to every single girl out there. And you, you didn't even know me well. We're not that close. How can you say that I was a girl you always prayed for. I have a lot of questions to ask. Since when, why and how you loved me, cause, again, we didn't talk too much before. The reasons you said weren't totally make sense to me. I found it hard to believe. And yeah, I chose not to believe you that night, doesn't mean that I don't like you. I was just protecting myself to not get hurt, I didn't want to rely my happiness on someone else. I didn't want to hurt you (too), trust me, even if I could, I wouldn't.

Still, thank you for delivering me those text tho :')

P.S. :

I wrote this a month ago, precisely on Monday, September 16th at 2.12 PM. I actually wrote many but I kept it on my notes cause I thought it wasn't necessary to be posted, but then I realize who cares about what I post since no one would read them lmao😆

A star among the clouds

Hello, this written is dedicated for you who read this. yeah, it is you, someone that I always wish I could spend the rest of my life with :')

The day when I first met you, staring at your sweetest smile-your smile is the sweetest smile I have ever seen anyway-, I love the way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you treat your friends (people around you). Your smile, your pretty eyes, your voice are such a poison for me. Like what has written in one of 1D’s song "I tried to play it cool, but when I'm looking at you, I can't even be breath", I was numb, I couldn't even take my eyes off you. Trying to make you notice me every single day hahaha, but you never noticed it -How poor I am  '_'.

It has been two months, since my heart fell into you. It was annoying, so much annoying, bothering my sleep hour. Have you ever fallen in love with someone who can't even be yours? It's such a silly thing, isn't it? and yash, I am right now being the silliest girl ever. How can I be so addicted in staring at someone's eyes, it sounds overrated I know, you've just never felt like what I've ever 😂.


Lots of love,
Sisca Wahyu

Hello, this is my very first post :)

Helloooooooooooowwwwwwwww!!! (typing a lot of "ow" letters to show that I am so excited for my first post. LOL 😅)

Welcome on my blog. Yuhuuuu, I finally have my own blog *yeay, I'm so sorry if I am a liitle bit alay (?) muehehe :). I don't wanna talk a lot because this is my first post on my blog account, so I would like to introduce myself first probably. Okay, I know that you don't wanna know anything about me, do you? Ehm No, I'm just kidding, I know that you guys love me so much that you finally find my blog and read this post (Ugh, I love you too :p).

So, who am I? Am I one of instagram influencer? Am I such a super girl? Or probably am I a daughter of my parents? The third one is the best answer *yaiyalah xD. Okay, I'm gonna tell you guys who I am. My complete name is Siska Wahyu Utami but I prefer to write it Sisca Wahyu as you know from my blog's name, I don't know why, I just love it, sounds more beautiful I think hehe :). I'm just an ordinary girl who has a million dreams and still struggling to find what the main purpose of my life is (sounds poetic, but actually I am not -,-). I graduated from Senior High School in 2017, exactly a year ago seems like I'm trying to promote myself to get a job, yeah I'm jobless right now heuheu :(.

I have some hobbies -exactly useless hobbies- such as listening to the music, watching K-drama, reading novels, eating too much, stalking on social media, and being a viewer of my friend's snapgram *lol.

https://www.rappler.com/indonesia/gaya-hidup/157443-goblin-drama-korea-yang-wajib-ditonton

The second one, how old am I? Hm, I am actually..... *drumrolls* eighteen years old. You may think that my face is still cute because of my age, ugh thank you, but absolutely I'm not -even when I was five wkwkwk (I'm tryna be funny huh :p). And I have some favorite food too, I love meat ball, noddle, sate, tahu krispi, tempe mendoan, ketoprak, gado-gado, pecel, ayam bakar. Everyone loves them so much😢.

A picture of pecel, one of Indonesia traditional food.

The last but not least, why did I finally decide to make a blog account? Nice question by the way, but for now my reason is I just want to spend my spare time during holiday before my exam to be more productive. I'll take this topic for my next post maybe, so please stay tuned xoxo :)

So yeah, that is my very short introduction. Thank you for visiting my blog, and probably some of you guys have a question for me, please feel free to write your comment below and please use your good words, I do appreciate.

Lots of love,

 

Sisca Wahyu